Elden Ring - The Ultimate Divorce Tier List
Intro
Many marriages end in divorce. Divorces are really sad, but fictional divorces can be really fun, such as Noah's boombox, Marriage Story: Manchester by the Sea, and, of course, Eldon's ring. This old elven ring is absolutely brimming with divorces. In this article I will rank all of the Elder Ring's many divorces on a tear list.
Let's get started.
Rennala and radagon
The divorce of Ranala and Radagon is probably the most detailed divorce in the entire game. To tell you the truth, this was the divorce that got me into the hobby of divorce watching. When you first stumble upon Ranala, she is locked up in a tower at the top of Rio Lucaria.
Academy Ranala is very sad and despondent. Any veteran divorce watcher will tell you that this is a sign that a divorce took place in the same room. You can find a statue of Ratagon behind her, but there is no Ratagon in sight. This is really sad. How could such a thing occur? If you talk to Turtwig at the Church of Vows, it explains to you how Radagon and Rinala met in a romantic comedy from the early 2000s.
Basically, he led a great golden host into battle against her. It was a whole "will they or won't they" thing. Eventually, he gave up and married her for a while. Life was good. They got it on like a bioware game and had a handful of children. However, soon, disaster would strike. I don't know if you have ever read any Italian novels about women being abandoned by their husbands, but that's basically what happened here.
When America hounded Godfrey from the lands between, she pulled out her arc phone and called up Radagon. He then just straight up left Ranala behind, alone in a tower. Now, this is really sad as it is, but there is something else that makes it even worse. Therefore, before I can rank Ronald and Radicon's divorce, we need to take a look at America and Ratagon's divorce.
Marika and radagon
Is it possible for a divorce to result in a massive loss of life or in a world-shattering event? Radagon is kind of an awful person with his whole Italian novel about a woman being abandoned by her husband thing and that America was probably just as bad due to her treatment of Godfrey and how she destroyed Ronald's marriage, so you are probably wondering how America, and Ratagon, ever got divorced.
It sounds like a match made in hell between two garbage people. Well, not really. As you find out at the end of the game, Ratagon and America are actually the same being, which begs the question, how exactly does this even count as a divorce then? Well, it's easily the weirdest divorce in the game.
Basically, the radical half is loyal to the greater will, while the American half was loyal, up until the whole Godwin business. She threw a tantrum when her son Godwin's soul was assassinated by Rani personally. I don't get it. It really wasn't a big deal, and Maria should have gotten over her son dying.
However, she didn't, and as a result, she shattered the elder ring. This is what caused the apocalypse. The state of the lands between that you explore over the course of the game, her radgon half, which is still loyal to the greater will, is trying to repair the elden ring, as you can see in the intro when it flashes between them, so while they never went to divorce court or anything, their relationship is absolutely over the very same relationship that they basically had with themselves. This divorce is defective; it's a weird one and doesn't really count as a proper divorce.
Rennala and radagon revisited
Now we can return to the Ranala and Ratagon divorce rankings. Personally, I feel that Ronald's divorce is enhanced by the fact that Ratagon and America are the same person. This means that Radagon left Rina to be in a relationship with himself.
This is such a profoundly bizarre thing to do that I cannot name a single Italian divorce novel where the husband was simultaneouslyin Therefore. I have to rank the Ranala and Ratagon divorces as ester. It is a truly groundbreaking divorce.
Marika and godfrey
The divorce between America and Godfrey is a very strange one.
It is probably the case with the least amount of information in the game. We know that Godfrey was this super badass warrior who became an elden lord because America wanted his strength to help fight the giants, and we know how that turned out. Now that Marika and Godfrey were married, they did the usual stuff.
However, Godfrey still liked to kill things, so he went and beat the crap out of the stormlord, which was the dragon lord Placidosax. And when he did this, he lost the guidance of grace and became the first tarnished. This is another way of saying that he no longer had any goals in his life and became deeply depressed.
Naturally, America was a supportive spouse and helped him through this troublesome time. She just kicked him and his people out of the lands between and then, as mentioned earlier, she called up Runagon on her arc phone and kicked-started. That whole affair is not a very nice thing to do to someone, but hey, that's America for you.
I assume that there could have been some friction in their household to prompt this. Godfrey seems like a stand-up guy. He's really strong and he stands up. However, moog and morgot are the children of Godfrey and America. Both of them were affected by the omen curse, which is not looked upon favorably, to say the least.
Maybe there was some behind-the-scenes drama in the household as a result of this that potentially caused America to divorce him, who knows to summarize. This divorce is just painfully average. It's a hard c-tier, mainly because it's just a footnote when compared to the Ranala divorce.
Mohg and miquella
The most disgusting, despicable, and demented relationship in the entire game is that of Mog and Mikala. Melania is the twin of Melania, and Melania watched over him in Michael's helic tree. Eventually, she left to go get her ass beat by Radhan, because she sucks.
This meant that Mykola was basically left defenseless because of a curse. These twins were cursed from birth. Melania was infested with scarlet rot, while Miceleh was cursed to be forever young. Yeah, that is weird, but it gets even more suspect. Moog is really creepy and obsessed with Mykola, so while Melania was away being an awful person, Moog abducted Mikala.
He wanted to replace America with Mikala, so that way, Mikala would become the almighty god of the lands between, and Moog could rule alongside him. We can assume that Moog put Mika in this cocoon as a way of powering him up, kind of like a dragon ball, but instead of a dragon, fortunately. This plan did not work out for Moog, and Mikala just kind of sat there completely dormant.
