Elden Ring - How I Became An God
The Eldon ring really was a 10 out of 10 and when I loaded up a new game and was instantly killed by the first enemy without landing a single hit, it was a staunch reminder that I hadn't played a source game since Demon Sauce and that was a long, long time ago when I was young and full of hope and then I was out in the open world on my mission to obtain the Alden ring and become Elden lord immediately.
I was put down by this bloke wearing gold armor and thinking he was the bee's knees. I hate you so much. Eventually, I found a fine lady who offered to help on my quest and gave me a horse and a goat. This made traversing the world significantly easier, until, of course, a giant dragon landed on the lake next to me and ruined me in one foul swoop.
I'm still having fun now. The sense of adventure at the start of the game really is incredible. You aren't explicitly told or shown to some extent where to go, but you're constantly stumbling on epic vistas and big things far away, drawing you into high-level areas that you aren't meant to be. I struggled along for a while, and then it was time for my first main boss, Margaret the Fallen.
I died to this lad more times than I would care to admit. The words that put these foolish ambitions to rest burned into my brain until the day that I perished. I detested this guy, but I was clearly under-leveled and under-skilled. So I went away. I searched in all the shadows and I found this plug in an area that I shouldn't really have been.
This enemy is the Knight's Cavalry. I doubt that I could have beaten him in close combat at this stage, but as it turns out, if you get his attention, you make him mad, and you run up the hill here, triggering all of the poison traps, he'll chase you down like the dog that you are. While he's doing that, he's building up enough poison damage to just fall over and die.
Yeah, this gives you 42 000 rooms and early game. This is a big deal, and it gave me enough stats to take on the bloodhound knight daryl, tricky fight, but killing him netted me this: the blood hands fang. A good early game weapon that scales well with strength and dexterity. It also comes with a devastating, special attack and a follower, so I went on my way, stumbling across a seemingly innocuous dungeon.
In it was a chest guarded by a couple of easy-to-kill rats. Little did I know that this was a trap chest with a spell in it and it teleported me somewhere that I did not want to go. Hey, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Just kidding, it actually teleports you to a horrible crystal cave with murderous insects, and I never want to talk about that place again.
Next, I went to this lady at the round table, and she gave me a hug, a rare heartwarming moment in a game so cold-blooded. I escaped from all of the pain and relentless suffering. One thing that she doesn't tell you, though, is that if you hug her, she gives you a debuff. You lose five percent of your total health.
Nothing is free in Alden Ring, not even hugs, but I soldiered ahead. Stumbling across a giant claymore in a castle, I learned how to imbue it with magic. I learned about summons and the ashes of war. Wild strikes were my new best friend absolutely. Destroying an NPC invader, who couldn't even get a single hit on me.
I was beginning to believe, so I went back to Margaret, the first boss, armed with new tricks and a trap that a dodgy geezer called Patches sold me in a cave. True story and you know what, I went to town on his ass. I didn't let go of the wild strikes. Hit after hit after hit. He couldn't even touch me now.
I wanted to make him suffer like he did to me. As it turns out, Margaret, my ambitions weren't as foolish as you had initially presumed. My confidence was growing. I went back and murdered the crucible, killing the boss, who had previously destroyed himself time and time again. I acquired the gold scarab, a talisman, which gave me 20 more runes, making farming more efficient, and soon the next mandatory boss, Godric, stood before me.
I expected another difficult battle. After all, he does whip the head off a dragon and breathe fire at you, which is totally normal behavior, but this fight was much easier than I had anticipated. The NPCS that I summoned five minutes before definitely helped here, and soon I'd beaten Godric in a handful of tries.
He rewarded me with a great room. At first, I had no idea what to do with this. The game doesn't really explain, but after backtracking a little, crossing an imposing bridge, felling stone giants along the way. I rode an elevator to the top of the divine tower, activating the power of the rune and buffing my stats by consuming a rune arc.
I felt good about this immediately. I rushed to the next boss, making my way through the academy of Reya Lucia. The strange wizards in here eventually got to the red wolf of Radagon, slaying it in 18 seconds with the bloodhounds' fangs. He was doing some serious damage beyond the wolf. Standing in my way was Rinala, Queen of the Full Moon.
Now I'm not joking. Stage one is literally a room full of human-sized librarians, throwing books at you, and then the next stage is one giant librarian, beaming you into oblivion. All you've got to do, though, is keep running. Lock on, close that gap, slice and dice, you get the job done, and then I hit a wall.
Star scourge RadanRadan He's a big old warrior that rides around on a tiny horse that looks ridiculous, but this guy is built like a brick house. I was repeatedly killed by his arrows as I tried to move in for hits, blowing me away in a single stroke. I wasn't strong enough to melee against him yet either, and I didn't have any decent farming spots, so you know what I did.
I went back to the dragon. I killed it. I stole its heart. I traded that in for the rotten dragon breath ability that Radhan was weak to. I went back there. All it took was two simple breaths. The beginning of stage one and the beginning of stage two And you know what I did? While he was dying, I just rode around the arena laughing maniacally to myself as I slowly watched his health bar tick down.
I wanted this. I wanted to embarrass him like the way that he embarrassed me. Was dead i turned into dust. I stole his armor, made it my own, and his passing brought down a great meteor from the sky that opened up an entirely new and massive underground section of the game. Alden's ring just kept on giving, but you know what, I felt weak now.
This felt cheap. My boost of confidence had gone. Radian had taught me that I wasn't as tough as I thought, and I wanted to be a strong dexterity melee character, but my stats didn't back that up, and I repeated deaths to the draconic tree sentinel standing in my way of progress. But you know what, I kept going.
